Chillin' in the Barnyard

It's been cold here in the Bay Area. I know those of you who get snow and sleet and blizzards and all that kind of weather probably think we're a bunch of wimps, and you're right. When the thermometer drops into the 30's I think we should all stay home, bundled up in down comforters, heater cranked up to "inferno" and a hot toddy at hand. Not that my heater has an "inferno" setting, but all the rest is good.

However, like the mail, the flockings must be go through.

Walking out onto the lawn to set up these critters, the grass crunched under foot like we were walking on broken glass. Lucky for us, the ground doesn't freeze. There are stories from other parts of the country of people carrying thermos's of boiling water to thaw the earth enough to get a flamingo rod in. Or of using a cordless drill to make a hole. Another in the long list of reasons why I live in California - none of these are necessary.

Back to whining about the cold.

When we returned the next night to pick up the display everything had been rearranged. The cows were lined up nose to tail headed from the sign to the street. Pigs were shoulder to shoulder with the cows and the roosters marched along side. I was kicking myself for not bringing the camera. My cell phone camera was of no use. Resigning myself to not getting a photo of the parade, I crunched my way to the end of the line and grabbed the first cow - which was encased in ice. As was every critter on the lawn. I wasn't wearing gloves. I don't even own gloves. My fingers were blue by the time I got back into the flamingomobile, where I found my camera. Of course.

Mountaineering in the City

This photo doesn't begin to do justice to the slope of the street we conquered this morning. There are some mighty hills in San Francisco but we don't encounter them very often. That's because there are very few yards in San Francisco - or at least few front yards.

We stay out of backyards due to the chance of getting shot, eaten by guard dogs or arrested for trespassing. All things detrimental to my happiness and general well being. If there is anything I'm protective of, it's my happiness and general well being. That, and keeping my hide in one piece.

But I digress. Since yards can be in short supply in beautiful downtown SF, it's always wise to ask the sender of a surprise if they know for sure that there is a place to plant the critters. This is a lesson learned the hard way (is there any other way?) If the sender is from out of town, their answer is then checked by looking at the satellite pictures and street view pictures on Google Maps. Another lesson learned the hard way.

Even using all the cool computer tools, this one was going to be a mystery until we arrived. Both the overhead and street views showed a barrier of bushes. Obviously there was some dirt there somewhere, but would we be able to get through and plant the birds so they could be seen? I considered taking along a machete, but I don't own a machete. That seems to make a difference. Plus I would have to charge extra for the landscaping which might not have pleased the sender. A yard make over wasn't the gift they had in mind.

What a relief to arrive and find the actual house was next door to the wildly overgrown yard. A very nice little planting area on both sides of the walkway was perfect for the birds. All I needed to do was scale a near vertical, wet sidewalk to get to the yard from where we managed to establish a base camp for the flamingomobile. Hey - I'm old(ish), and I have bad knees. It was a challenge. And I get to do it again tonight.

But the results are worth it.

Seeing Stars

Since my last whiny post things have picked up a little bit. We are still getting way too much uninterrupted sleep but that will change over the next few weeks. How do I know this? Flamingoing will be good because I have several meetings and appointments booked. It is a strange but reliable phenomenon that if I need to be up, dressed and able to relate intelligently with the general public before noon, we will be out creeping around in strange dark yards until 4:oo or 5:00 am. I am expecting at least one order for Thanksgiving simply because we are planning to be out of town. Our back up flockers are out of commission due to several severe health issues so it's either turn down work (gasp!) or creative scheduling best accomplished by offering extra days at no charge.

Anyway - last week ended pretty well. One display out during Hallowe'en was 100% unmolested
even though it was set up right along the sidewalk. We were very pleased. We had hearts and stars out for two celebrations, and everything came home from both jobs.

Too bad the same can't be said of the dinosaurs we picked up this morning. The pack was one raptor short.

The most obvious difference between the situations: the dinosaurs were in a high priced neighborhood. Hearts and stars were in less affluent areas. The more expensive the home, the more likely that someone feels entitled to help themselves to a "souvenir." I'm not saying that it's always someone from the target household, but what decorating niche in a $5 million home cries out for a slightly worn plastic t-rex? If it's the neighborhood kids, don't the parents wonder about the coincidence of a yard full of penguins across the street and the sudden appearance of a penguin in their offspring's environment?

Enough pondering the vagaries of human behavior. I think I'll go mix myself a little adult refreshment and spend the remainder of the weekend doing some intense goofing off. Did I mention, we don't work tonight?

Business Sucks!!

I'm sure everyone has their own story about how the current economic meltdown is adversely effecting their life and livelihood. That isn't going to stop me from whining about how it's effecting mine. If it wasn't for telemarketers, politicians, and wrong numbers I'd be picking up the telephone just to make sure I still had dial tone. We got one new order last week - count 'em: one, 1, uno. The dust is starting to build up on the flamingos and while I appreciate that its the season for ghosts and goblins, I don't really appreciate the spider webs that are accumulating in my critter bins.

I do have to admit however that the quality of business that is coming in is pretty good. For example, I took an order from out of town. She wanted a herd of cows delivered to her best friend, but the friend lives in a huge complex and on the second floor. The question was whether there would be a place to plant the herd where they would be appreciated by the birthday girl. Google Maps to the rescue. I entered the address and called up the satellite picture of the complex. Lots of green areas were visible. A look at the street view pictures were also promising. We struck a deal - if it turned out that we couldn't find a good spot, she would get a 50% refund. Luck was with us. A perfect spot right at the base of her stairs, and a short haul from the flamingomobile. The icing on this birthday cake - every one of the cows was still there when we returned to herd them back to the barn. Whoo hoo!! That was 2 weeks ago.

Last week only the flamingos had an outing on an emergency flocking The caller has been sending flamingos to this person every year for his birthday but lost track of the date until the day before. We were warned that if the birthday boy detected us, he was likely to chase us down to extract the identity of the sender. I am pleased to say that the flocking tradition has been upheld and unless there has been a confession, the sender remains anonymous, and the recipient remains puzzled. I love these stories.

Vanity Made Me Do It

I use Google Alerts to monitor a number of things on the web. Among them are; where my name pops up, mentions of Flamingo Surprise, and goings on in the lawn greeting industry. This morning the alerts brought me to a blog by another flocker, I Got Flocked. Having a nosy moment, I clicked the link to her posting and then navigated over to her blog. Once there I couldn't resist the urge to comment on one of her posts. Then it occured to me that this might prompt a visit to my blog. Narcissism kicked in. I didn't want to be caught with my last post being in June. So here I am.

The flocking business has been spotty. Good weeks and bad. (%$&#* economy!) For the first time in years the clipboard was empty (I keep all active orders on a clipboard). Fortunately it only stayed that way for a few days but still . . . I don't like seeing that grimy gray surface staring at me from the desk. Fuel prices also prompted a price increase. I was concerned that I would lose sales from that but it hasn't happened. The number of customers who don't buy due to price has actually decreased. Interesting. In pricing discussion with artists and crafts people (I haven't talked about my craft work here yet have I?) the philosophy is; if it isn't selling, raise the price. It's a perceived value thing. Apparently that works in the yard card business as well.

Sign making on the other hand, has been going great guns.

2008 - Happy Flocking New Year

OK - so I haven't posted in awhile. Four months is awhile. Actually, it's quite awhile. I've thought about posting, not often but once in awhile. I wonder how many time i can use awhile in one post? Too many, I bet.

I just haven't had anything interesting to say and not enough ambition to post boring. It's harder to write boring than interesting, at least for me. Not that this post is going to end up interesting, but the start of the new year seems to require at least some effort on my part to show up and if I can't be interesting, I'll be boring.

Business of late has been terrible. I've been reaping the rewards of my 2007 marketing campaign. If any of you ever doubt that marketing efforts are directly reflected in the amount of business you get - don't! I stopped going to most of the networking events available to me, and dropped my Fall Home & Garden Show. As a result, I've had way too many nights off in the past three months. We did finish off the year with a herd of cows. They headed out on Friday and didn't come home until Sunday morning. Everyone else stayed home.

So - tomorrow morning at 7:00 am I will be acting as a substitute at a BNI meeting. At 11:30 am you will find me at the East Bay Women's Network monthly meeting. Time to get my hustle on because the alternative is looking for a (gasp) job and I really, really don't want to do that. Gotta get those flamingos working again.

None of this stopped us from spending a lovely week in Kona, HI in December. A whole week of shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops. The thermal shock of returning home was stunning. As wonderful as it was though, the viral generosity of our fellow travellers lingers. My cough has diminished enough to allow me to be in public without people recoiling. DBFA still sounds like a refugee from the TB ward. Next December, we'll stay close to home and have a real holiday - Christmas tree, friends over to share some cheer, all the trimmings. It's been years and I realize, I miss it. This time next year I may swear "never again!" but right now it seems like a good idea.

Anyway - Happy New Year to all. May 2008 be happy, healthy and prosperous.

Ennui or Neglect - you decide

I've been a very negligent blogger, but I have been taking pictures of all the displays. The web album in the sidebar has been updated with all the pictures from February through early June. No way I can recreate the stories that might amuse, but at least you can see the results.

In addition to all the night work, I have also been sort of busy with the sign business. Here are a couple of recent jobs:

A pretty big awning - the logo is 10-ft x 4-ft.






A trade show banner for one if my networking friends. She has a fascinating business; Hand Tales.

Stand by to dicsover the next lame excuse I can come up with for not posting. I might share some more of my sign work too. Aren't you excited?

Catching...up

The itching has almost completely stopped and what little tan I achieved seems to be fading away all too soon. It will be good to get back to work. (That is a not too subtle invitation to the Universe to get the phone ringing.) The cat is almost caught up with his lap-sleeping. For a few days he had to be peeled off like a bandage if I wanted to do something rash, like stand up. All 883 emails have been downloaded (768 SPAM) and the 10 that were important have been answered. We have read the comics page from all the newspapers that were piled up, done both of the missed Sunday New York Times crossword puzzles, and opened all of the Christmas cards. I'm giving some idle thought to sending some belated cards out myself, but if I lay down with a cool cloth on my head the feeling should pass. My cold is mostly gone, passed along to DBFA who doesn't seem pleased by my generousity.

It is way too windy to go outside and I won't have any sign work until after January 1st so I guess I have no choice really except to stay snuggled up inside with a book. I'm savoring Nora Ephron's I Feel Bad About My Neck. Laugh out loud funny. If you don't think so you are either too young and are in for a rude awakening someday or you're a guy. I read a chapter, wipe the tears, go pee, read another chapter, wipe the tears and then put it down. My only complaint is that it is too short and if I let myself I will finish it in a couple fo hours.

No flamingo work until New Years either - come on phone - RING!