The Silence of The Flamingos

One of the challenges in my line of work is maintaining some measure of quiet while setting out a display. Waking the neighbors, the recipient, or worse, the recipient's dog complicates things and can spoil the surprise.  Not to mention the toll it takes on my heart when a voice booms out in the dark demanding to know "What's going on out here!"

Last night it seemed like we were making enough noise to rouse the whole block. The birds were all piled up at the front of the loading area and persuading them to slide closer to the tail gate created an awful lot of clatter. Getting them to let loose of each other involved even more clanking and banging.

Thanks to the insulated windows and the inclement weather we got it done without the two dogs inside sounding the alarm. Another clean get-away.

Chillin' in the Barnyard

It's been cold here in the Bay Area. I know those of you who get snow and sleet and blizzards and all that kind of weather probably think we're a bunch of wimps, and you're right. When the thermometer drops into the 30's I think we should all stay home, bundled up in down comforters, heater cranked up to "inferno" and a hot toddy at hand. Not that my heater has an "inferno" setting, but all the rest is good.

However, like the mail, the flockings must be go through.

Walking out onto the lawn to set up these critters, the grass crunched under foot like we were walking on broken glass. Lucky for us, the ground doesn't freeze. There are stories from other parts of the country of people carrying thermos's of boiling water to thaw the earth enough to get a flamingo rod in. Or of using a cordless drill to make a hole. Another in the long list of reasons why I live in California - none of these are necessary.

Back to whining about the cold.

When we returned the next night to pick up the display everything had been rearranged. The cows were lined up nose to tail headed from the sign to the street. Pigs were shoulder to shoulder with the cows and the roosters marched along side. I was kicking myself for not bringing the camera. My cell phone camera was of no use. Resigning myself to not getting a photo of the parade, I crunched my way to the end of the line and grabbed the first cow - which was encased in ice. As was every critter on the lawn. I wasn't wearing gloves. I don't even own gloves. My fingers were blue by the time I got back into the flamingomobile, where I found my camera. Of course.

Mountaineering in the City

This photo doesn't begin to do justice to the slope of the street we conquered this morning. There are some mighty hills in San Francisco but we don't encounter them very often. That's because there are very few yards in San Francisco - or at least few front yards.

We stay out of backyards due to the chance of getting shot, eaten by guard dogs or arrested for trespassing. All things detrimental to my happiness and general well being. If there is anything I'm protective of, it's my happiness and general well being. That, and keeping my hide in one piece.

But I digress. Since yards can be in short supply in beautiful downtown SF, it's always wise to ask the sender of a surprise if they know for sure that there is a place to plant the critters. This is a lesson learned the hard way (is there any other way?) If the sender is from out of town, their answer is then checked by looking at the satellite pictures and street view pictures on Google Maps. Another lesson learned the hard way.

Even using all the cool computer tools, this one was going to be a mystery until we arrived. Both the overhead and street views showed a barrier of bushes. Obviously there was some dirt there somewhere, but would we be able to get through and plant the birds so they could be seen? I considered taking along a machete, but I don't own a machete. That seems to make a difference. Plus I would have to charge extra for the landscaping which might not have pleased the sender. A yard make over wasn't the gift they had in mind.

What a relief to arrive and find the actual house was next door to the wildly overgrown yard. A very nice little planting area on both sides of the walkway was perfect for the birds. All I needed to do was scale a near vertical, wet sidewalk to get to the yard from where we managed to establish a base camp for the flamingomobile. Hey - I'm old(ish), and I have bad knees. It was a challenge. And I get to do it again tonight.

But the results are worth it.

Dinosaur Dirt

The dinos were out for Mike's 50th birthday. It was a rainy night which pleases the Flamingess. Not because I am particularly crazy about getting wet at 3am, but because being in the rain is about the only way any of the critters get cleaned. Rain and sprinklers, the Flamingo Surprise answer to animal hygiene.

A quick aside about our experience with rain. It seems that even if we drive to a victim's home in a downpour that threatens to wash the flamingomobile off the road, it lets up long enough for us to get the yard set up. The deluge may start again the moment we slam the van doors closed, but we are usually just barely damp. Your grandmother kept her ironing damper than we get. Apparently the weather gods like lawn greetings.

Since Mike's dinosaurs were in a neighborhood close to home, and the Flamingess had to practically pass the place on her way to a morning meeting, an executive decision was made to leave them for an extra 12 hours. Hey - who am I to turn down the chance to actually go to bed at night?

Of course, by morning I'd lost track of my plan to stop on the way to my meeting. That failure of memory was aided by oversleeping and thereby reducing the usual 2 hours it takes me to become fully conscious to a scant 1-hour 15-minutes. I managed to get breakfast, get dressed, put on some kind of face, tame the hair and in to the car sort of on time, and figured the dinos could wait until I passed on my way home from the meeting.

As I neared the dino'd neighborhood I checked the clock. Quick calculation: 15 minutes before meeting starts, 4 minutes travel time from destination. I'll pick them up as originally planned. 7 minutes later I was pulling away from the now naked yard with this in my car.

Which is how I ended up arriving at my meeting with my hands caked with dinosaur dirt. Not many people can say that.

Just Bats About It

Sometimes there is a delightful crossover between my businesses. Yes, the Flamingess does stuff other than tip toeing around strangers' lawns in the middle of the night.

In my other life, I am creating signs for a new shop in Palo Alto, Halo ... a blow dry bar. She's getting rave reviews so if you're in the neighborhood drop in and give yourself a treat.

The owner's son apparently loves Halloween and does it up in a big way each year. Right now, his front yard is a pirate haunted house (how cool is that?) As a part of his month long celebration of all things trick-or-treat, he holds a charity event supporting the Lucile Packard Children's Hospital at Standford.

Flamingo Surprise is donating a flock of bats to add the spooky decor for the event. Not sure how bats and pirates go together for Halloween but it doesn't really matter. It's all fun and for a good cause. Come on by to visit the bats, get a good scare in the haunted house and support a very important organization.
Jeffrey's Haunted House
Saturday October 16, 2010
6PM-9PM
2155 Ward Way
Woodside CA, 94062

The Early Birds

After months of neglect I spent some time this morning reading old posts here. Although, while writing them, I frequently felt like I was being redundant that didn't come through in the reading. I am surprised - pleasantly so. Maybe that will be inspiring enough to get me to come back and do some more.

It's not like the work has stopped. We still often spend several nights a week out messing with people's yards. Not for the past two nights though. That's because the Flamingess messed up an order and installed it a day early. The birthday was Saturday but the flock arrived on Friday.

One danger in scheduling our work is getting the day wrong. Customers want to help by telling us the night we should deliver. What we really want to know is the day they want the display to be on the lawn. So a Friday night delivery is really a Saturday display.

This time I failed to clarify the days and interpreted the discussion about a Friday delivery to mean a Friday display. So Stoney gets to enjoy his 60th birthday flock for 3 days instead of 2. And the Flamingess and DBFA get to enjoy 2 nights off instead of 1. Sometimes, not often, these little errors work out to everyone's advantage. The misunderstanding may have been encouraged by the fact that we had a flock to pickup Thursday night on the same side of the Bay so it was easy to just drive a few miles further south and replant the birds.

At least we were only one day early. Last time I messed up the delivery date we showed up a whole week early. Twice in 14 years - not too bad, but there's no need to do it again.

Early Start

I don't remember being in this yard before this morning (you'd be surprised how many of them I recognize, even years later) . The sender of this greeting is a frequent flocker so it's possible we were here just about a year ago to welcome the birthday baby home.

Even if age 1 is a bit early to appreciate the sentiment I'm sure the family and the neighbors will enjoy this colorful combination. I think the pink and yellow add a nice touch of Spring to the yard - sort of like giant mutant tulips.

Mud, Dust and Dirty Birds

The birds have been busy lately. This is good on several levels. Since it's been raining, the flocks have been given a much needed bath, although the effect gets negated when they get un-planted and mud clings to the rod. Fortunately, no one seems to mind a little mud on their flamingos. Its not like they're being served up as hors d'oeuvres.

The rains stopped a few days ago and the crows didn't get a shower so they retain their classic dusty patina. I suppose I could give them a bath but my yard is so hard that there's no place to plant them to dry. Then the bears would want a bath, and the buzzards, then the bats and cows and penguins and I'd have to have to whole critter population in the tub and my bathroom just isn't big enough. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

A Storm is Coming

Literally, a storm is coming and we will be out in it tonight. There are thunderstorm warnings which could make the night's work very interesting. Consider this scenario - standing in the rain, in the middle of an expanse of lawn, sticking metal rods into the ground. That's what we will be doing. A crispy flamingo planter is not the kind of surprise anyone wants to find when they step out the front door in the morning.

I'm going to make sure we have snacks, drinks and a blanket in the van just in case we have to spend some time waiting for a cell to pass through. As long as we're prepared we won't need any of it.

Cows that Care

The morning after the herd was delivered we found out that the birthday boy was delighted. Waking to find this public display of affection in his yard completely changed his emotional landscape. Turns out his brother, who's birthday was two days earlier, had passed away just a month before. What had promised to be a rather sad occasion was transformed into a day of love and laughter. He loved it so much we were asked to leave it an extra day.

I love hearing stories of how this goofy little business affects people in such wonderful and positive ways. (How many more ways can I come up with a way to use "love" in this post?)

Merry Christmas To All

It's after noon on the Sunday after Christmas and I'm still in my nightshirt and fuzzy slippers, sitting at the dining table browsing cool backgrounds for this blog. The Cutest Blog on the Block has lots of great, colorful and fun backgrounds that are super simple to use. The biggest challenge is to figure out which one to use right now. I'm going for a New Year's theme, at least for a week and then I'll have the pleasure of picking a new one for January. I'll also play with a customized signature and if I am really ambitious, I might work on a new header. In summary, I am avoiding real work - the kind that pays the bills.

It's just too gloomy looking outside and I imagine it's cold in the shop. In order to perserve my excuse for lethargy I'm deliberately not checking the very easy to see thermometer. If it turns out to be above 50 degrees then I need to come up with another excuse. It may just be easier to put on sweats and go to work. There is a restaurant opening soon in Alameda, Shay's Cafe, that I need to get the signage done for. I could go over and install the window lettering and give the owners a sense that I really am going to get this done before their opening day. That would leave just (just!?!) the wall painting. For that I need to have a platform lift because the sign is above the entrance doors and tops out at about 16 feet from the sidewalk. I am just too old and too lame to attempt this on a ladder. My scaffold will only get my feet 6 feet off the ground, which puts my comfortable painting height at about 11 feet.

Tonight could be our last flocking of 2008. Other orders may come in early in the week but the phones are very quiet. There has been a slight pick up in business in the last 2 weeks but, considering what it had dropped to, a single call changes the statistics drastically. However, I have high hopes that 2009 will start off better than 2008 ended and the trend will continue to improve.

If I don't make it back before next year, Happy New Year to you all. Be safe, happy and healthy.

Seeing Stars

Since my last whiny post things have picked up a little bit. We are still getting way too much uninterrupted sleep but that will change over the next few weeks. How do I know this? Flamingoing will be good because I have several meetings and appointments booked. It is a strange but reliable phenomenon that if I need to be up, dressed and able to relate intelligently with the general public before noon, we will be out creeping around in strange dark yards until 4:oo or 5:00 am. I am expecting at least one order for Thanksgiving simply because we are planning to be out of town. Our back up flockers are out of commission due to several severe health issues so it's either turn down work (gasp!) or creative scheduling best accomplished by offering extra days at no charge.

Anyway - last week ended pretty well. One display out during Hallowe'en was 100% unmolested
even though it was set up right along the sidewalk. We were very pleased. We had hearts and stars out for two celebrations, and everything came home from both jobs.

Too bad the same can't be said of the dinosaurs we picked up this morning. The pack was one raptor short.

The most obvious difference between the situations: the dinosaurs were in a high priced neighborhood. Hearts and stars were in less affluent areas. The more expensive the home, the more likely that someone feels entitled to help themselves to a "souvenir." I'm not saying that it's always someone from the target household, but what decorating niche in a $5 million home cries out for a slightly worn plastic t-rex? If it's the neighborhood kids, don't the parents wonder about the coincidence of a yard full of penguins across the street and the sudden appearance of a penguin in their offspring's environment?

Enough pondering the vagaries of human behavior. I think I'll go mix myself a little adult refreshment and spend the remainder of the weekend doing some intense goofing off. Did I mention, we don't work tonight?

Business Sucks!!

I'm sure everyone has their own story about how the current economic meltdown is adversely effecting their life and livelihood. That isn't going to stop me from whining about how it's effecting mine. If it wasn't for telemarketers, politicians, and wrong numbers I'd be picking up the telephone just to make sure I still had dial tone. We got one new order last week - count 'em: one, 1, uno. The dust is starting to build up on the flamingos and while I appreciate that its the season for ghosts and goblins, I don't really appreciate the spider webs that are accumulating in my critter bins.

I do have to admit however that the quality of business that is coming in is pretty good. For example, I took an order from out of town. She wanted a herd of cows delivered to her best friend, but the friend lives in a huge complex and on the second floor. The question was whether there would be a place to plant the herd where they would be appreciated by the birthday girl. Google Maps to the rescue. I entered the address and called up the satellite picture of the complex. Lots of green areas were visible. A look at the street view pictures were also promising. We struck a deal - if it turned out that we couldn't find a good spot, she would get a 50% refund. Luck was with us. A perfect spot right at the base of her stairs, and a short haul from the flamingomobile. The icing on this birthday cake - every one of the cows was still there when we returned to herd them back to the barn. Whoo hoo!! That was 2 weeks ago.

Last week only the flamingos had an outing on an emergency flocking The caller has been sending flamingos to this person every year for his birthday but lost track of the date until the day before. We were warned that if the birthday boy detected us, he was likely to chase us down to extract the identity of the sender. I am pleased to say that the flocking tradition has been upheld and unless there has been a confession, the sender remains anonymous, and the recipient remains puzzled. I love these stories.

Flocking for the Cure

The Susan B. Koman Foundation held a 3-day, 60-mile "walk for the cure" event in San Francisco last weekend. Two members of a networking group I am involved with (the Women's Business Exchange) participated. The Flamingess decided to show her support by taking a small flock of flamingos and a sign out to set up along the course.

On Friday, day 1, we parked with doors of the flamingo-mobile wide open to blast Jimmy Buffett music. We joined other on-lookers and supporters to cheer, clap and wave to the hundreds of intrepid walkers along the streets through Golden Gate Park. It was a perfect San Francisco summer day - clear and warm. Warm like it only gets in September and October - summer comes late to the City. After about 3 hours of cheering for everyone the Boob Brigade ("my" team) appeared and had their picture taken with the flock.

The flock decided it should go out again on Sunday to add its energy to the final day. We started out for the first cheering station but we had been out doing our surprise work until the wee early hours of the morning and so overslept that time slot. The second designated cheering area was full. No place to park and unload the birds. Not to be discouraged, we cruised along the walking route to find our own place but since this day's route was through downtown SanFrancisco grassy areas were hard to find. Finally we found the perfect location - right at the end of the walk just before the participants crossed the finish line at Fort Mason. Many many photos were taken of walkers posing with the sign and the flock. It was a great way to spend the day.

Flamingos and the Water Shortage

The water shortage is starting to show its effects in our nightly activities. We have encountered some seriously hard yards. Even when there's grass growing, it must be that stuff advertised on TV that will grow on a concrete block. The situation is only going to get worse. Mandatory water conservation hasn't started yet but it is only a matter of time. By the end of summer the layout of any given display will be dictated more by where the weeds are growing than by any aesthetic sense. Why weeds? Because we can usually get a rod into the ground by sticking in the middle of a weed. Even where a jack hammer can't penetrate, a weed will manage to grow.

After 4 concrete block yards in a row, we hit a nice easy lawn. Good thing too since this was a big installation: 50 flamingos and 50 buzzards. What a menagerie! Joseph had been flamingo flocked for his 49th birthday, so for his 50th the perpetrators decided reinforcements were called for. By the time he hits 60 we could be trying to fit every critter we have into his yard.

Vanity Made Me Do It

I use Google Alerts to monitor a number of things on the web. Among them are; where my name pops up, mentions of Flamingo Surprise, and goings on in the lawn greeting industry. This morning the alerts brought me to a blog by another flocker, I Got Flocked. Having a nosy moment, I clicked the link to her posting and then navigated over to her blog. Once there I couldn't resist the urge to comment on one of her posts. Then it occured to me that this might prompt a visit to my blog. Narcissism kicked in. I didn't want to be caught with my last post being in June. So here I am.

The flocking business has been spotty. Good weeks and bad. (%$&#* economy!) For the first time in years the clipboard was empty (I keep all active orders on a clipboard). Fortunately it only stayed that way for a few days but still . . . I don't like seeing that grimy gray surface staring at me from the desk. Fuel prices also prompted a price increase. I was concerned that I would lose sales from that but it hasn't happened. The number of customers who don't buy due to price has actually decreased. Interesting. In pricing discussion with artists and crafts people (I haven't talked about my craft work here yet have I?) the philosophy is; if it isn't selling, raise the price. It's a perceived value thing. Apparently that works in the yard card business as well.

Sign making on the other hand, has been going great guns.

Bad Blogger

How many times have I heard that if you're going to start a blog you have to keep it going? That's one of the small business mantras. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously I have some latent passive aggressive personality trait that kicks in on this.

Once in awhile I get the urge to come here and get caught up but I manage to find some lame excuse not to. Then something happens that deserves noting.

Yesterday we had a display, 50 flamingos and 30 hearts, for a woman's 85th birthday. When we pulled up to the address the yard was well screened from the street so we set it up facing the house. It was a big yard and with all those hearts and a full compliment of flamingos we filled it up pretty well.



Beautiful warm late Spring evenings make it hard to sleep. Couple that with no other work so we decided to make the pick up early (only a lawn greeting person would consider 11:00 pm early). The birthday girl left us a note taped to the marquee. Not wearing my reading glasses, I did the best I could to decipher it in the interior dim lights of the van. It seemed she had been waiting for us in hopes of witnessing the take down and let us know how delighted she was with her surprise. I never tire of hearing this - tell me again.

2008 - Happy Flocking New Year

OK - so I haven't posted in awhile. Four months is awhile. Actually, it's quite awhile. I've thought about posting, not often but once in awhile. I wonder how many time i can use awhile in one post? Too many, I bet.

I just haven't had anything interesting to say and not enough ambition to post boring. It's harder to write boring than interesting, at least for me. Not that this post is going to end up interesting, but the start of the new year seems to require at least some effort on my part to show up and if I can't be interesting, I'll be boring.

Business of late has been terrible. I've been reaping the rewards of my 2007 marketing campaign. If any of you ever doubt that marketing efforts are directly reflected in the amount of business you get - don't! I stopped going to most of the networking events available to me, and dropped my Fall Home & Garden Show. As a result, I've had way too many nights off in the past three months. We did finish off the year with a herd of cows. They headed out on Friday and didn't come home until Sunday morning. Everyone else stayed home.

So - tomorrow morning at 7:00 am I will be acting as a substitute at a BNI meeting. At 11:30 am you will find me at the East Bay Women's Network monthly meeting. Time to get my hustle on because the alternative is looking for a (gasp) job and I really, really don't want to do that. Gotta get those flamingos working again.

None of this stopped us from spending a lovely week in Kona, HI in December. A whole week of shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops. The thermal shock of returning home was stunning. As wonderful as it was though, the viral generosity of our fellow travellers lingers. My cough has diminished enough to allow me to be in public without people recoiling. DBFA still sounds like a refugee from the TB ward. Next December, we'll stay close to home and have a real holiday - Christmas tree, friends over to share some cheer, all the trimmings. It's been years and I realize, I miss it. This time next year I may swear "never again!" but right now it seems like a good idea.

Anyway - Happy New Year to all. May 2008 be happy, healthy and prosperous.

Yes, I'm still around

It's been a long time and enough people have commented on my absence that I finally guilted myself into abandoning (temporarily) my idle pastimes; like reading the lawn greeting forum and 3 sign forums, painting signs, hustling work, flocking yards and occasionally sleeping, to check in here. Who knew I had so many readers? (I think that's 5 now.) All the pictures have been added to the album. Check them out over in the sidebar.

Overall the flocking has been pretty good this summer, although for awhile in July I was checking to make sure the phones were still working. They were, but I wasn't. Everyone was on vacation I suppose. Since things were slow, DBFA and I decided to drive to San Diego for a weekend to visit his son for son's 45th birthday. Within moments of committing to the trip, orders started pouring in. I took 3 orders while sitting in the chair getting a haircut. My substitute flockers went from a single order and an easy couple of nights to 5 orders and 3 nights of marathon driving.

San Diego was amazingly humid. My menopausal, hot flashing system was not happy about that. The boys did not play well together - that Father-Son thing. I'm not inclined to play referee in these things but I came very close to going out to buy a striped shirt, whistle and yellow flag. Perhaps a baseball bat or sap would have been a better choice. Eventually a truce was declared and we did manage to treat ourselves to some excellent food. If you find yourself in Ocean Beach, check out the Portuguese restaurant on Newport Ave. I'd be willing to put up with the scrapping just to lick the plate that came with the scallop skewer. Warning - garlic lovers only. We squeezed in a nice visit with DBFA's San Diego daughter and her husband (the other girls live in other states).

We headed for home early on Sunday. One detour to check out a new (to me) vinyl cutter. My original one is acting up and a sign company in Fountain Valley was selling a very good machine to make room for their new one. We dragged the poor guy out of his bed at a too-early hour to meet us at his shop to make the deal. I am a very happy girl - this machine ROCKS! Here's the first sign to come from it.

I got to see almost the whole lunar eclipse Tuesday morning. we started out on the flocking run at about 2:30 am and there was already a bite out of the lower limb of the moon. By craning my neck, I could watch the progress out of the van window (I wasn't driving). It was all over before we got home. There were some amazing color transitions, deep reds and rust colors and just before totality and again as the moon started to emerge from the Earth's shadow, a faint blue. This is from the sunlight passing through the Earth's ozone layer. I'm so glad I was able to see it, even if I do have a stiff neck now.

Well, I better sign off and get some sleep. There are a couple of flocks awaiting delivery and we mustn't keep them cooped up in the van any longer than necessary. Don't want to get the ASPCF on our case.

What a week!!

Last week seemed like one long drive. Our nights started at the usual times (12:30 to 1:30 am) but ended after daylight. 15 orders in 7 days which equals 30 stops (not counting stops at the gas pumps) and something in excess of 1500 miles.



Two orders for hearts and stars.
A birthday and a graduation.








In order to finally get an actual night's sleep, we let 3 displays stay a bit longer and picked those up Sunday afternoon. My buddy, HJM volunteered to ride shotgun so DBFA could get some badly needed extra rest. In this one trip, we made a circuit of Tracy, a loop around Moraga, and a lovely drive out along San Pablo Reservoir to get to El Sobrante, Leaving El Sobrante we found ourselves stopped in traffic as the Sikh spiritual peace march filled the streets. It was a beautiful thing to be involved in, even just as a vehicle bound spectator.






Birds and more birds.




Last night was a single pick up, a mere 3 miles from home. Easy, easy, easy. Of course, both vehicles are stuffed with plastic animals, signs and letters. Being basically lazy, we'll wait until we have to load up for tonight's work to start shovelling out the current loads.









Lots and lots of critters. Lots and lots of surprised grads, Dads and birthday celebrants.