A Bundle of Bears

What would James Lipton call a lawn full of teddy bears? Perhaps a bundle of bears? Certainly not the same term used for the creature in the wild, a sloth of bears (a misnomer except during the hibernating times).

This was a rare, daytime job. As I was retrieving the bundle of bears delivered to welcome home the new baby, the mail carrier pulled up. The gentleman spoke to me but couldn't be understood over the rattle of his vehicle's engine. I approached, one bear dangling from my hand, to hear what he had to say.

Apparently a couple of years ago, his wife had been the recipient of a birthday surprise of crows (that would be a murder of crows according to Lipton). He had left the house first and upon sighting the display, went back to get the birthday girl. Her immediate reaction was to laugh and call him an a$$hole for telling the whole world her age. He claimed innocence and figured there was only one other person who would do this, her son. The son refused to admit his involvement, indicating he preferred to let the guilt remain with his step-father. However his triumph was short lived for on the son's next birthday he awoke to find a stand of flamingos gracing his yard and his grinning mother proclaiming her innocence.

I love this business. Everyone has such a good time.